Perfection VS Puddin
by StillNoUsername
Summary: TheSuperItachi's Paragon and TFS's Puddin battle for supremacy over Conton City.


It was another day in Conton.

People were eating, training, attempting to get into each other's guts, disrespecting Trunks's authority, and worshipping their emperor god, Paragon.

He went by many labels - SuperItachi, Omnipotent Overseer, Thot Reformer, Pussy Bitch, No Skill Spammer, and Narcissist among others - but the masses all referred to him by one, undisputed title: Perfection.

A name that was undisputed... until now.

Paragon sat on his hoe throne, sipping on senzu lean and chilling like a villain.

"Side Bitch #427, remove my gucci slippers and soothe my aching feeties post-haste" he elegantly uttered.

"i hate my life" Kari commented under her breath, resulting in a massively faster-than-light dendeslap which sent her spiralling into a nearby building.

"You uncouth wenches need be known when to open your mouths", Paragon menacingly proclaimed, "lest I send you tumbling into the Shadow Realm with a mere glance."

"So do you think you sound cool talking like a Saturday-morning cartoon villain, or are you just that pretentious?"

Paragon did that anime grunt as he gazed upwards towards the obnoxiously high-pitched voice who dared insult his grandeur.

Down soared Puddin, resident Demi-Demon Goddess and self-proclaimed "Greatest Alive".

Paragon assessed the situation and let out a chuckle. "Heh, another Mary Sue dares to throw hands against Perfection itself?"

"The only perfect thing about you is that shade of orange nestled atop your watermelon of a skull, you carrot-top headass bitch" Puddin retorted, ushering forth a wave of uuuuuuuuuuues from passersby. "Besides, I didn't come for a fight."

Paragon waited with curiousity.

"I came", Puddin proclaimed menacingly, "for your _clout._ "

Paragon made the anime grunt once more. "M-My... CLOUT!?"

Puddin smirked. "Paata, play my shit."

Paata came out of nowhere and placed down the fabled Heat Caster.

 **(Beat: "Pull" By Beat Demons)**

 _[Paragon's a joke, and I'll set the record straight_

 _Overgrown green smurf, looking overweight_

 _Looking like a Made in China Jiren action figure_

 _You're just mad because your dende won't get any bigger_

 _You claim that you're the greatest, yet your bank account is missing zeni_

 _I'm convinced your power is the only reason you get any_

 _Puddin Pop's putting shots all over your body_

 _Take you out and put your ass to sleep just like Cosby]_

"N-NYU-UH!" Paragon sputtered in fear. He could feel his clout levels decreasing dramatically.

"What's wrong? You look flustered" Puddin remarked.

"...Hm...I...Hm...I won't be taken out...by a FILTHY WHAMAN!" Paragon sperged. "PLAY THAT SHIT, SIDEHOE!"

Kari reignited the Heat Caster's divine flames.

 _[You ain't the first, and you won't be the last_

 _Verbal ki is rising fast, finna put you on the blast_

 _Got stacks in the bank, and my clout's beyond reach_

 _Gonna reform this Mary Sue and mad flex on the beach_

 _Your family tree, is all over the place_

 _Yabrotha'syafatherYabrotha'syanephewYamotha's a damn disgrace_

 _Your face is a ballsack (ew) get the hell away from me_

 _Came out a petri dish, you're a walking talking STD]_

Paata and Kari stared in horror. "Oh God Oh Fuck" they stammered in unified fear, knowing that Puddin was now in danger of becoming yet another sidehoe.

Or so they thought.

Puddin let out an amused chuckle. "That wasn't half bad. But this next verse will end your career."

Paragon shook in horror, is bars having no effect on Puddin. "WHAT!?"

The Heat Caster was ignited one last time _._

 _[Yeah my mother's fucked up but at least I know my daddy_

 _"Wah Wah, I'm feeling hurt cus Daddy Bojack doesn't love me!"_

 _Dumplin family pride, and I rep my colors well_

 _I've got Popo in my genes and it'll send you straight to hell_

 _Reinvented Pecking Orders, I'm a lyrical genius_

 _I'm forever elevated, you can't see your own penis_

 _The Xenoverse is mine, now get your ass off my land_

 _Buh-bye, Be Para-gone bitch_

 _"Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah"]_

Paragon let out an ear-piercing "NOOOOOO-" as his clout evaporated into nothingness and he began to fade. Just like that, all of his bitches were freed, and peace was restored to the Xenoverse community. Puddin was hailed a hero as even Ace came to congratulate her in sign language because that boy can't speak for some reason.

"What will you do now?" Kari asked.

"I'm just gonna beat the shit out of Buuzer now, he stole my fruit punch and he must pay."

"Oh... ok."


End file.
